Wherefore Art Thou Appreciation of Me?

Now that finals are finally over, I’ve decided that I hate Shakespeare.

I know, Mom. You’ve told me a hundred times. The Plain White T’s have told me a hundred more. Hate is a strong word. But you know what? At the moment I really, really, really don’t like him.

Saying something so bold might be the kiss of death for a writer, but I’m going to throw it out there anyway because the guy has consumed so much of my life the last several weeks that I can never get back. Ever.

I get that Shakespeare is in many ways the Holy Grail of wordsmiths. I understand that drama as we know it is what it is largely in part to Shakespeare. Simply put though, I don’t enjoy reading his work, which kills me because Shakespeare in Love was such a great movie. But there are too many glaring holes in his work that I just can’t get past. I can think of three off the top of my head. Check it:

1)      With Othello, Shakespeare pretty much created the first stereotypical black male literary and stage character. Othello snatched up the hottest white woman in all the land, gave her a good smack down in front of his peeps, and then *SPOILER ALERT* killed her. Where is Al Sharpton when you need him? Or Jesse Jackson? Spike Lee?

2)      How many times does a grown man need to utter the phrase “how now?” More importantly, why is it that every time I read said phrase my mind was overtaken with the uncontrollable urge to finish with “brown cow?” That’s not very conducive to learning.

3)      Rambling on and on is not okay nor does it make for fun reading, even if you create super-duper cool names for it like “soliloquy” or “aside.” At the end of the day, you’re still just the guy that stands at other peoples’ cubicles and wears out his welcome by talking too much.

Perhaps this sudden revelation of mine stems from having been forced to spend so much time reading, rereading, listening to the play on Netflix (which was nothing short of genius I might add) just to keep me focused as I re-reread, and then having to analyze the thing to death. Whatever happened to something simply being what it is? Why do we constantly find ourselves looking for deeper meaning in places where it’s entirely possible that none may exist? Two words: Face. Value.

But just because I don’t enjoy reading Shakespeare doesn’t mean that the stories behind the words aren’t incredible. It’s just that the words on paper just don’t jive for me. On film? Most definitely, which provides the epiphany that Kacie’s Shakespearean education should instead come in the form of Hollywood adaptations of some of his more popular plays. It’s a brilliant idea, really. Probably one of my best ever, after the Netflix thing of course.

As I look at the long list of options, I see that some selections hold true to the entire concept of what Shakespeare was originally writing about. Others will only embody certain aspects of the work. All in all it’s a good mix. I’m thinking we’ll go with:

1)      O – (Julia Stiles, Mekhi Phifer, Josh Hartnett) Tim Blake Nelson’s rendition of “Othello”

2)      10 Things I Hate About You – (Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger) Gil Junger’s remake of “Taming of the Shrew”

3)      Hamlet – (Ethan Hawke, Julia Stiles) Michael Almereyda’s modern day spin on Hamlet

4)      Romeo+Juliet – (Leonardo DiCaprio, Claire Danes) Baz Luhrmann’s take which actually includes the original dialogue

5)      Much Ado About Nothing – (Denzel Washington, Keanu Reeves, Kate Beckinsale) Kenneth Branagh’s version of the play by the same name

After watching, I’m sure Kacie will make some witty comment about my having a crush on Julia Stiles because she’s in three of the five movies that will be part of her Shakespearean experience. While true, it’s purely coincidental. But hopefully after we’ve watched these different interpretations of Shakespeare’s work, she might have the desire to read the originals and be able to not only accomplish but actually enjoy something that her old man just wasn’t able to.

Share